Hey I’m Grump! I’m not so Grump! And we’re the Game Grumps! Arin: [exaggerated panting] I’m trying to get away from this madman! A: [panting] Dan: Yay! A: What did I–
D: [high-pitched] I just want to talk to you! A: Oh, one up. D: Oh wow, really?
A: Yeah. A: That’s a secret one up. A: Anyway… A: …we’re playing Mario 3D world. D: Whoo!
A: I’m Peach, and, uh, Dan’s here too. D: Yeah. And bringing up the rear is Jackass. D: What’s-his-face. A: Oop, stamp. It’s mine.
D: Oh, god damn it! D: You really have to be fast.
A: It’s a cute stamp. D: That is a cute one. A: Ye- Oh, I gotta use an item. Gotta get my cat suit.
D: What do you want, bitch? A: Mm mh-mm D: Should- should we be talking to her? A: Nah. D: Or just bouncing about on her?
A: Yeah, you can try to kill her if you want. Here. A: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you… A: Okay. A: Hey, wait, where’re you going? Both: [laughing] D: I’m outta here. A: I do not wanna be an accomplice.
D: I didn’t see this murder. A: Ooh, let’s see what’s, umm… A: Ooh, Dodger. Dodgers22.
D: Mm. A: Says “Bowser”. D: Cool.
A: And, uh… Austin… A: …says… “LOL”! A: That’s not funny at all! D: It’s kinda funny.
A: A little funny. Just, murder’s funny. D: Saying something’s not funny really loses its steam when you just laughed at it A: [exaggerated sigh] A: Maybe that’s the case… D: M-hm A: I don’t know. Anyway. D: Woo! D: Oh no!
A: It’s shadow world! A: There all kinds of shadows. And our shadows don’t get bigger or smaller the closer you are to the wall. D: Weird.
A: Which is very unsettling. D: What should we be doing with these things? D: Oh. A: Just kill them, I don’t know. You can hold them if you want. D: Do I have an attack when I’m big, or no? A: You can just jump on people’s heads A: Also, there’s a star over here. D: [sucks air through teeth] A: Looks like I got the 4000 points.
D: [frustrated noise] D: But I got a bell. A: Sucks to be you. D: It does suck to be me, actually, at the moment. A: Oh, but you got a bell. A: And you got another bell, so that’s- that’s good. A: Oh, these guys can’t die. D: Ooh. D: A- Hey! D: Fucking…
A: What? A: What- what did– Oh god! Oh god, please no! D: [laughs]
A: Please no! D: Ah! A: Hey… D: Hey!
A: How’s it going? D: Wow, easy! Easy, easy… I’ll die.
A: Hey, how’s it going? D: Aaw…
A: Aaw, I’m sorry. A: I didn’t mean to.
D: Sure. A: I totally meant to. A: Hey, fire [incoherent] piranha plants! A: And they’re dead.
D: That’s cool. A: Hey! A: How’s it like coming from the afterlife? D: Pretty good. D: Oh. Here, check out what I learned. D: Oh.
A: [laughs] What’s that? D: It’s- Oh, never mind A: The “how-to-die” trick? A: Oh, you fucked up my fucking rhythm dude!
D: I know. D: It’s pretty sweet. A: We could’ve gotten more coins. D: Good. A: Oh god! Oh god!! Oh god, why?! D: Yaay. D: [sings nasally] Ha ha haa ha! Ha ha ha ha haa ha! Both: [laugh] A: [sings] Macho madness! Ooh yeah, it’s macho madness A: [sings] Ooh yeah, yeah, macho! Ooh yeah, it’s macho madness! D: Wooah! A: Yeah, now we’re shadow people.
D: Whoo! D: I love it! D: Whoa! A: Hey, do you wanna get hurt? A: Okay.
D: Oh… What? A: Oh, cool. A: It ate those things. A: And now I’m a cat A: Hey! It’s your friend! Oh god! Oh god, why?! A: Oh, he’s dead. D: How do we get to that?
A: Ooh… I think we just gotta go underneath it. A: Is that a turnip or something? Oh, there we go. A: Whoo! I got the stamp!
D: Why?! A: And you got the nothing.
D: Ugh. A: I got the turnip. A: Wait, what the fuck? How do we get this turnip? A: Was that just there for– Okay. D: Yeah. A: Hey, what’s up piranha plant?
D: [imitating Luigi] “Stop picking me up, whore!” A: [laughs] A: [imitating Luigi] “Please!”
D: Ey! D: Whoa, whoa, whoa… A: [imitating Luigi] “My butt is sensitive.” D: There is so much new shit every turn.
A: Yeah, of course. A: This is Mario dude, what are you talking about…
[incoherent] A: Oh, oh! There’s a star in here! A: Aah, it’s mine! It’s mine! A: Ah, shit! How do I get it? AAAH!! D: Yeeeaah!
A: Oh, fuck you! D: Cool.
A: You think you’re so goddamn good. D: I feel good. D: Well… A: Well, I’m happy for you ’cause you’re my friend… A: But… [huffing] D: Nngh
A: I’m just.. I’m just so huffy right now. D: [amused voice] Huffy… A: Hey, it’s Captain Toad!
D: Woah! A: Oh, we gotta save him from the Bowser D: Where is he?
A: Here he is. D: Wait, where? A: That’s not a real Bowser! Haa haa!
D: Ooh! A: That’s not a real Bowser.
D: Silly. A: Oh, now he’s happy! D: [imitating Captain Toad] “Yay! What the fuck was I afraid oooof…” A: Aaah! That’s mine, that’s mine, that’s mine!
D: Yeah! A: Fuck – you – in the boo… A: …ty.
D: Cool. D: So now we’ve got a lot of uh… things, yeah? A: Yeah, sure, we’ve got a lot of things D: Hey, cool! There’s stuff up here. A: If you… I swear to god. D: Whooo!
A: No! No! D: Yeeaaah!
A: No, no! Aaah! [sigh of relief] A: Okay. A: Phew! I though [incoherent] D: Luigi wins, I think. D: Fuck you! D: [laughs]
A: Well, we’ll see. A: [imitating Peach] Haha, yeah! Why aren’t I falling back down? D: I felt pretty good about that one. Blegh!
A: [imitating Peach] I’m so scared. A: Alright, let’s see who wins. A: Oh, look! Uriah suck at drawing.
D: Ooh. A: Cool kid 5 says, “Easy!” D: Dark face? A: Hmmm…
D: Hnnnggh… A: More please! D: You got it. A: Aaand… Both: [yelling] D: DAMMIT!
A: [laughs] A: YES! YES!
D: I’m getting better. I- I’m getting better. Okay. A: How does it feel to, um, get rocked in the fucking face? D: I fucking… It feels really good. A: I know. A: I know. Feels good to me too.
D: I love it! A: Wait, let’s see how many, uh, stars we need to get into the Bowser area. A: ‘Cause I would like to- I would like to show you a whole new world. A: Fifteen stars?!
D: Don’t you dare close your eyes A: Ugh… A whole new world. A: This is my favorite goddamn level. D: A new fantastic, wondrous [incoherent] A: I’ll show you why. This is my favorite level in the whole world. D: Really? Why is that?
A: Yeah. Hold on. A: Don’t kill those rats. A: Don’t kill those rats over there.
D: What rats? A: Oh my god! There’s a bell! It’s mine A: Alright. Don’t kill those rats. Right?
D: Okay. A: Check this shit out. Watch this. A: Watch this. A: Hold on. A: Here we go, over here. Watch this. A: I’m really liking the way these– A: Would you- would you stop messing around– A: –and kick those guys out of existence? A: For F’s sake! A: For F’s sa– Do I have to do everything? D: I see what I gotta do now. Okay, got it.
A: Sheesh! A: Alright! D: Go right ahead.
A: So these are the guys. A: Yeeah.
D: [laughs] A: Yeeeaah. D: Oooh! A: You fucking like that, don’t you? A: Yeeaah.
D: Oh! I still get hurt by that. A: Fuck yeeeaaah.
D: And they just– A: Hoh! Whoh! A: Yeeah.
D: [laughs] D: Woah. A: What you looking at!! A: [frantic yelling] D: Aaww, it’s adorable! A: Yeeaah.
D: [laughs] A: [giggles] D: That is the weirdest.
A: Yeah. D: I like it.
A: Yeah? Alright, fine. D: Yaaay!
A: I’m glad you like it. D: Yee-Ah!
A: Hey, there’s stuff up here! A: Don’t fucking go anywhere, there’s stuff up here! D: No, I wanna do these things.
A: Don’t you dare. A: Ah, I just got the green star. How do you like that? D: Pretty good.
A: Oh, dude, there’s secret spots over here. A: You gotta watch out for secret spots. You see that? D: Oh!
A: See how they glow a little bit?
D: Yeah A: Boom! They’re there. They’re there. Secret. A: I can stop the thing right here. D: Aha.
A: I can stop it with my powers. A: I can, uhh…
D: With my sq-ugh. D: Woah!
A: I can- Yeeah. D: [laughs] D: That’s right.
A: You like that shit? A: Fuck yeah. A: Hey, Luigi. You looking good. A: Yeeeaah. A: Come here! [through gritted teeth] Stand still! A: Yeeah.
D: Whoo! A: Come on, baby. D: [choked sound] A: Show me some sugar.
D: Actually… D: [laughing] Yeah. I just start doing, like, the cat, like [slurping sounds] A: [laughs] D: Ngeh… A: Alright, onward! D: Okay. A: [singing along to the music] Dododoo! A: Oh shit. Oh shit! Oh SHIT! A: Oh shit!! Nonsto– Oh… D: Nonstop coinitude! A: I was trying to get all the coins, but then you messed me up. D: I know.
A: Why you always messing me up? D: ‘Cause I’m supposed to now, I’ve realized. A: [deep voice] You’re learning.
D: [laughs] D: [imitating Palpatine] Do it.
A: [deep voice] You’re learning. D: Woah! A: Oh shit! Gotta get the red coins, bruh! A: [singing] Red coins!
D: Aaw… A: Oh, get that coin! Get that coin! D: Got it.
A: Yeah, nice! A: Dude, we got the extra bell! We’re gonna need that for when you suck! D: [laughs] A: For when you’re messing everything up. D: Oh, woah woah! Tiny Goombas! Don’t like it! A: Well how do you think that they feel about it? D: Probably pretty shitty.
A: You said it out loud, dude. A: That’s messed up! A: There’s like eight of them.
D: They’re right there. D: Well, we killed them, but still. A: [laughs] They were right there.
D: Yeah. A: They were just there. A: Hey, give me that question mark. Hey come on, give me that question mark. A: Aw yeah! A: Hey! Hey, little mice! A: Yeah.
D: That’s right. D: Aw…
A: This whole game is full of “yeah” and “fuck you!” A: Are you gonna kill that mouse? D: Yeah, sure. A: Are you going to kill *that* mouse? A: Ooh yeeah. Come here– Oh! D: Yay!
A: You’re an asshole! D: [laughs]
A: You’re an asshole! A: Right here! I am gonna make some flowers! A: Out of resentment for you!
D: [laughs] A: They’re beautiful! D: [singing along to the music] Dododododo! Whee! Oh god! A: Nicely done.
D: Thank you. A: Cat time! Cat time! Cat tiiime! D: [singing along to the music] Fuck you fuck you fuck you! Bells. D: [continues singing] Fuck you fuck you fuck you!
A: Bells. A: [sings] Fuck you fuck you fuck you! A: Bells. D: Whooah!
A: Hey, check out this coinage up here! D: I know.
A: Too bad you didn’t get up here. D: I know.
A: Aah… Feels good to get all those coins. A: For myself.
D: [laughs] D: Oh man.
A: Hey, there’s a- there’s a pipe down here. A: Looks like I’ll go here and mess up your flow.
D: Aaw.. A: Hey- Oh check it out! I can be like, WRAAGHH!!
D: Wow! D: It’s like Rumba Room. What is this? A: [high-pitched] Light up all the bla-bla-blaa! A: Looks like *I* just got 6000 points.
D: Who the fuck would even- Alright. D: You are at a slight disadvantage for having played this and knowing exactly what’s going on A: Well, you know… A: Just, uhh… A: Whenever there’s something that you have to light up in an order– A: –you usually wanna be the last one to hit the last one.
D: Oh, okay D: Gotcha.
A: ‘Cause then you get the points for it. D: Oh.
A: It’s a race to the finish. A: And a race for the next time on Game Grumps.
D: Wait. D: Wait. Wait, wait! Don’t- don’t do anything. D: Thanks! [laughs] D: Yeah! A: OH MY GOD!
D: [laughs] A: [singing along to the music] Thinking ’bout the pussy. A: [sings] Look at those boobs, they are so good, I wish that I could touch them so much.