Cabin Fever Remake (Dingo Pictures) – Phelous


And so it came to pass that people went into the woods to party. you of course remember the previous party in the woods You of course remember the previous party in the woods, don’t you? No? OK, good! (crow squawks) (Banjo music) Ha doop di doop di doo, I am the Wabuu, and I’m going to have some party! (laughs) Oh, Wabuu. You stop talking such rubbish. There can be no party here. At this time. No party? My God! You could not be more wrong, Annie. Now I’m going to get this party started by shooting stupid squirrels! (sound of gun cocking) No, you cannot hunt other animals, Noooooo… Shoot someone else, okay? Shut up! Most of the squirrels in this forest are sooooo gayyy! (laughing) Oh Wabuu, your casual homophobia charms me for some reason. Probably because this movie is sooooo stupiiid! (gun shots) Wabuu, nooo! Die, Wuschel, die! (gun shot) (“wah-wah-wah” horns play) Mmmm, even if that squirrel is extremely stupid, it’s not done. (simultaneous laughing) I’m really upset right now that this party isn’t about me. A bear! (screaming) Yes, we invited him. You know that, you know. (rave music) I am the Wabuuuu… (drunken laughter) I don’t need a shoe… but I really need some more booze from you! I just want you all to know that I’m having a horrible time. Gooood. (laughing) Grumpy, even if this is a bitching party, it’s not done. (rave music continues) Six years later… (rave music continues) Ahhhh, you all must elect me Tsar of the party or I’ll bomb you all! Yuss. My God! He’s got a dog! This is Doctor Dog. Show respect or I’ll turn you all into damn hell rubbish! What a cute doggy! (laughing) I will kill you all! (screaming) Throw him in a great big fire! Yah! Ooh, bombed! Explosion-moded! (throws bomb) (explosion) (evil laughing) Six years later… (footsteps) (knocking) (more knocking) Euuurrgghhh… We’ve had complaints of a big party here… It must have been some party… (laughing) I like to party as well, just so you are aware. I… really don’t care. Oh, but I think you will care once I throw you in party jail if you don’t party with me! (laughing) Alright, alright! We’ll invite you to the next party. Also, so you don’t forget, PARTY! (laughing) (whispering) Party. (way too much laughing) I’m not laughing. Laugh party interrupting bear! This is sooooo stupiiiid! My God! An infected person! (footsteps) HI… I need help… (coughs up substance) (“wah-wah-wah” horns play) He’s infected with the T-virus! Throw him in a great big fire! Yah! (dramatic sting) I’m… really.. sorry… I just… need some help- Oh, I’m already in the fire. (“wah-wah-wah” horns play) Oh, it doesn’t matter if you got infected puke on you, I think the water here has already been infected for some time now, and I’ve already drank a lot of it, and had sex with Wabuu. (confused grunt) We might all already be infected! My Go- -lly gee whilikers! I know what to do! (screaming) (more screaming) (even more screaming) (explosion-splat) I’ll go get help for all the stupids! Wabuu, no! (sound of stupid squirrel getting crushed by The Wabuu™) (“wah wah wah” horns play) (laughing) I’m just here to act racist, but then show you that it’s OK because I know a black man! This scene is soooo stupiiid! Bye! Woah, stay away from my store, you infected non-flyer! How did you know that I was infected? Why, science!! I held a phonograph to the ground to detect for infected people! You stand there, I’ll call for help! Pancakes! Wow… That’s not funny… Why don’t you use some slow-motion BS to really drag this non-joke out? Pancakes! (slow motion) PAAAAAAANCAAAAAAAAKES! (bite) (cry of pain) Oh, my science! You know, if you get my boy sick, it’s just as good as killing him! OK! (gun shot) (smack) (“wah wah wah” horns play) (cry of anguish) Don’t worry about it. Well, I never thought about it that way, you’re right! I’ve already got Tio II anyway, so who cares! (Flying music from “Puma Man” plays) Pancake Sccciiiieeenncccee! Those fools don’t know how to get proper help! Babushkaaaa! (laughing) Director Rasputin! You dare pointlessly bring me into this!? I need you to make me the president of not being infected! I can only do that if you’re DEAD! (Unintelligible Rasputinese) OK! I’ll do it! Ooh! Bombed! (explosion) Aaaaarrggghhh! (thud) Argh, you damn idiot! You ruined the party! (laughing) Party’s over, Frollo! (panicked laughing) (yelling) (splash) I made it! I’m the best! I made it! Your blood might be infected, but all that does is give it a slightly different taste to me! I loove blooood! I knew this would happen! (death) (sounds of urination) (laughing) And now it cuts back to me like I actually added anything or have any reason to know any of this story! I wasn’t supposed to read that. Anyway, I guess they all died. Good story! (squawk) Ohhhhh… woah….. For yooooouuuuu!

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